Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thanks everyone for understanding my absence. I have to say that my break from added stress in my life has been a blessing. We have made the decision for me to stay home and spend time with our girls for awhile, which I am enjoying immensely. I look back at some of the decisions I have made since losing Abby and some were not what was best for my mental health in the long run. After the accident, I went back to work 7 days after we laid our little girl to rest because I didn't want to be home. The house was too empty. There were many things I left undone and still had not taken care of them in the three years since. During the last few weeks of being home, I have tackled many difficult ones, the hardest being the pictures. I finally took all the pictures off the memorial boards from the funeral, crying my eyes out as Mady helped me put them back in the albums. I am going to do my best to keep the blog up again, although it might not be daily.
I attended the ICVC class at Maryville Treatment Center last week to give my speech to the new batch of students. I would think it would become easier each time I give the same speech, but it still invokes emotions. I still catch a few tears and this time I did not watch the placement of the laptop that plays the pictures for my speech and flipped out a little when pictures came up that I don't like to see. Warren was there to help and I was so grateful for that. This class spent a good 20 minutes asking questions and making comments. It was probably the most involved class I have had so far. It appeared that each one of them were touched as all of them spoke. There were new questions this time too. I was asked about vengeance instead of forgiveness, trying to move on, and our new family dynamics. One man even admitted that he was receiving treatment for DWI's and stated he would never do it again after hearing me speak. I told him that I hoped he stayed strong and did not, but that if he should choose to drink that he would see Abby's face before he decided to get behind the wheel.