Abrielle Neff Foundation

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Guys & Dolls Fundraiser

Check out today's paper. There is an article on the upcoming fundraiser. http://www.maryvilledailyforum.com/news/x1157493630/Haircuts-to-benefit-Abrielle-Neff-Foundation
I failed to get all the information as to why they were doing this for us. When I was first told about the salon wanting to do something for us, it came from Virginia. She had just gotten her hair cut by Tina Spurgin (her cousin) who works there. I thought that maybe she was the one that had suggested the Foundation as a cause for their anniversary celebration. I was so touched to hear that Mindy's son had received an animal from Abby's Hugs and that was the real reason behind the fundraiser. She wanted to give back. It's almost like we've started a pay it forward program in the community that brings out the best in people. I love it!

I also received a comment on the homecoming parade from the little "Handy Dandy Notebook" guy's mom. We all thought it was so cute when we heard him say that! How wonderful that they took the time to thank us for it.

~Brenda

Preschool Class Party - 2006

In sharing more for the Halloween season, here's Abrielle's class party.

Trying to run between Mady's and Abby's class Halloween parties, I missed some of Abby's. I missed the games, but want to share some of what I did capture.

The class was supposed to decorate their pumpkin sugar cookies to make jack-o-lanterns with candy corn and m&ms. I guess my child just wanted a pumpkin because she didn't put anything on hers. Oh, and I truly wondered for a long time if she really was my child because she didn't like chocolate! I can't believe I could have a child that didn't like chocolate! Every Schimming LOVES chocolate! Marc had strong influences in this one...she was definitely a Neff.

Such a cutie with her big brown eyes! Those she did get from me :) I am pretty sure I fixed her hair this day, but she would never leave it in all day. Not sure why. She would never really give you a reason other than "I tooked it out." The kids in her class kept find hair things in the classroom after she was gone. They all knew whose they were.

Here's all the kids in the preschool class that year.

~Brenda

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Five Strikes

So, some people in our society are slow learners. http://www.maryvilledailyforum.com/news/x1157489992/Five-strikes-your-out Five DWIs! Does it really take 5 DWI convictions before a chronic offender will be sent to prison. I guess on the flip side, I am greatful that the jury found the offender guilty and saw fit to keep him off the streets. Let's just hope the sentence follows through with that sentiment. It seems if you put these cases to a jury, there is not the same amount of tolerance there is from our lenient judges that seem to want to give second, third, and even forth chances. In our case, Ryan Sundermann was put away on his third offense (thankfully), but what if Abrielle had not gotten injured. Would he be out, free to drive the streets in an intoxicated state as he had previously done? Would the judge allow him another probation extension so that he could keep violating it? When is it that someone would stop and think, he might kill someone if he doesn't get help? I am glad this jury did its part to help keep another tragic accident from happening. Who knows, maybe the loss of Abby and the anger many others in the community felt had some sort of impact on this jury. Maybe our Abby is still making a difference in other ways.
~Brenda

Pumpkin Carving 2006

Since the season is upon us, I thought I would share some past fall festivities with everyone. I will start with the most recent...2006. Last year Mady was not very happy with us because we didn't carve any jack-o-lanterns. We just couldn't...too tough, but we are going to this year.

This was our last Halloween together with our Abrielle. The girls had so much fun carving their pumpkins. They both instructed Mommy as to what shapes to draw and Daddy as to how to cut them out.

Abby never seemed to mind getting her hands all goopy cleaning out the pumpkins. Notice JackJack was in for the excitement, even though he was still an outside cat then.

I absolutely love the great big grin on Abby's face in this one. She's laughing because I think JackJack was helping with the clean-out step.

The finished jack-o-lanterns and two very pleased little girls.

This is also the night I captured the picture of Abby with JackJack that I love so much. (Sorry this is the original off the memory card and I didn't take the red eye out) She loved that cat so much! He would tolerate her beyond belief, but I guess that was the kind of love he grew up getting. She could do just about anything to him and he just didn't care, obviously, she's laying on him and he's just staying there. As anyone that's met him now, we are not all that lucky. He gets a little grouchy with people sometimes now, so it's a good thing we got him declawed.

~Brenda

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Guys & Dolls Date Set

Sunday, November 2nd is the day to get your haircut to raise money for the Foundation. Guys & Dolls Hair Studio will be having their customer appreciation day from 2-4 pm and will be raising money for the Foundation at the same time. There will be cookies and beverages, door prizes, and people will be donating their time and talents to give haircuts. So mark your calendars to get a trim or a whole new style while proceeds benefit the Foundation. After all, you'll have to get you hair cut sometime, so why not when it's benefiting a good cause.
~Brenda

Shopping

Becci came back to visit this weekend and we ended up going shopping in KC with Mady. She was in desperate need of jeans since it seems like she won't quit growing. I had been putting off going because now I almost hate shopping. I will not go on my own at all now since the second accident. I just can't believe the change in me sometimes. I had such a difficult time last year and it's still not any better. I always loved to go shopping. I mean, come on, what woman doesn't, and especially when she has little girls to buy for. Shopping is time alone, girl time, or just fun time with the kids, but not now. I have not found a store in which I can go from Mady's size to Elly's without seeing Abby's. I see things that I know she would just love or something that would be so cute on her or something that reminds me of a shirt she already has. I try to not look. I try to avert my eyes to the next section, but it just doesn't work. I have gotten good at holding the emotions in when I'm in the store, but they build up. Instead I just end up wearing down faster and getting grouchy which is no one's fault that is with me. (We all know whose fault it is!) Basically shopping for clothes for the girls makes me face the reality that I am missing one and just seems to rob the day of the fun.

Mom also came out this weekend and helped me dig out warmer clothes for Elly. I was very proud of myself. I didn't do too bad sorting through the things that Abby wore... no tears at the time (those came later), just some sadness.

~Brenda

Monday, October 20, 2008

Homecoming Parade

The weather was much warmer this year and we had a good crew come to walk with us. (A big THANK YOU to those that came!) The theme was Lights, Camera, Bearcats! but we didn't incorporate it this time. We were met with applause 4 different times during the route. The first time the clapping started I said to Shannon I think I'm going to cry. She just told me it's ok that I have sunglasses on, no one will know:) I just can't explain the feeling that came over me. It was like you could feel love. It was definitely neat to know that people appreciate what we are doing.

Look, we have balloons this year! Last year I picked them up on Friday night since we had to be there so early and they kept popping throughout the night. Scared me every time one popped! This year we got to pick them up on Saturday morning.

Marc and Shannon were having quite the time with the streamers.

Mema with Elly.

Bel and Marc working on filling up the baskets with all the goodies for everyone to pass out.

Miss Elly was too cute. She wanted to help pass out stuff too.

Here we all are posing for a picture before we got to moving. We were almost to the back of the parade this year, but that worked out well. Scott, Cole, and Kyndall as well as Teresa were able to make it back to join us.

Our float full of kids and Grandma trying to keep Elly contained.

Jeanette, Carrie, and Kathy having fun along the route.

Elly didn't stay contained for long... Here she is with Steph. She needed out with the action where she could clap and dance to the band behind us. (No bobble heads behind us to get us this year Landry.)Mady and Chloe let balloons go to Heaven for Abby after the parade. I missed the first big bunch they let go because I didn't know they were doing it. Mady always wants to send balloons to Abby and I think that's great. Sometimes we even have to tie pictures and notes to them.

~Brenda

Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.