Monday night we took Elly to see the Preschool classroom and to meet her teachers. She was so excited to be going to "big girl school" that I wanted to make sure I did not have any tears to ruin it. For some reason as I was getting the girls ready, Elly said, "I want to see in Abby's room." Of course I explained that we don't play in Abby's room and went on about getting ready to leave, not sure what brought on the comment. As we drove into town, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop as we drove past the cross along the side of the road. It made ignoring the fact that Abby was missing impossible and I had to catch a few tears.
At the school, Elly could barely contain her excitement while I held my emotions in check. No tears at the school. We introduced her to her teachers and let her check out the room for a little while. Then as we looked at pictures of past preschool classes on the wall and found our Abby, the heartache was hard to ignore. Elly kept asking, "Why Abby not here?" after finding her in the picture, but I didn't answer. I have no answer for that question. It wasn't until later at night that I let the emotions of the evening catch up with me. Now the next step will be Thursday morning when I actually take El to preschool for the first time.