When does it get easier?
I so wish I had the answer to that question I am always asking myself. I still have times when the grief floods with me with tears. Today has been one of them. Actually, this whole week has been draining. Somehow, whether I am looking at the calendar or not, I know what day is approaching. The sleepless nights start. The headaches, upset stomachs, and the "I don't want to get out of bed" days lead up to the day that I relive.
Yesterday were the Easter parties at school which carry so many hard memories for me. I held myself together until the end of the day when I was able to cry with friends.
Today Elly kept asking me to push her on the swing outside. All I could do was cry. Six years ago that is how I spent my last evening with Abrielle. It was hard but I did finally agree to swing. That was when the next set of tears began to flow. She put on her cowgirl boots and ran out the door. All I could see was my Abby pulling on her cowgirl boots six years ago to help her Daddy outside while I was making supper.
So many flashbacks. So many tears. I miss my little girl. My heart is breaking and I am having such a hard time with my emotions today knowing what tomorrow is ~ the day we lost our Abrielle.