Abrielle Neff Foundation: August 2010

Monday, August 30, 2010

Memories for the Wall

Believe it or not, I have not created any type of memorial for Abrielle to hang on the walls of our home. I have bought collage frames with the intentions of placing some of my favorite photos in them to hang, but have yet to fill them. Instead, a contest got me inspired to finally create something. Here it is ~

In creating this, I had to do some things I had not yet, permanently remove things from Abby's room. I do not like moving things in her room still, so this was really hard for me. The only time things come out of her room are when they are included in pictures, but then they are placed back in their original spots in her room. In order to find some of the items I wanted, I had to pick up toys that were last touched by her little hands and placed into their toy baskets.

I tied a "hula" hair tie to the handle of the tray along with the flower zipper pull from her backpack. One block contains one a letter A in her handwriting that I copied. Another square has a pink butterfly barrette. Her teddy bear necklace has a new home where I can touch it anytime. Two of her Barbie shoes are included and they also symbolize her love of dance, gymnastics, and dressing up. A Barbie Princess crown sits in another corner because we always called Abrielle our Princess.

I included a two quotes that I love.

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." Angela Schwindt

"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is even if we're apart, I'll always be with you." Winnie the Pooh

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Deja Vu

Oh how that deja vu feeling kept creeping in today. From getting a three-year-old ready for school, to walking my little girl in for the first day of school, to waiting outside for her to come running and give me a hug. Everything kept taking me back to the fall of 2006 and sending Abby to preschool for the first time. I was able to stick to my "no tears at school" plan and did not let them fall until after the sunglasses were in place.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

To Preschool We Go

Monday night we took Elly to see the Preschool classroom and to meet her teachers. She was so excited to be going to "big girl school" that I wanted to make sure I did not have any tears to ruin it. For some reason as I was getting the girls ready, Elly said, "I want to see in Abby's room." Of course I explained that we don't play in Abby's room and went on about getting ready to leave, not sure what brought on the comment. As we drove into town, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop as we drove past the cross along the side of the road. It made ignoring the fact that Abby was missing impossible and I had to catch a few tears.

At the school, Elly could barely contain her excitement while I held my emotions in check. No tears at the school. We introduced her to her teachers and let her check out the room for a little while. Then as we looked at pictures of past preschool classes on the wall and found our Abby, the heartache was hard to ignore. Elly kept asking, "Why Abby not here?" after finding her in the picture, but I didn't answer. I have no answer for that question. It wasn't until later at night that I let the emotions of the evening catch up with me. Now the next step will be Thursday morning when I actually take El to preschool for the first time.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Golf Tournament

Saturday turned out to be a beautiful day for the golf tournament fundraiser for the Foundation and Deryk Degase sponsored by my high school class (MHS 1994). There were 24 teams in all golfing for the day.

A big Thank You for Melanie Stiens Wassenberg for organizing the event.

And a big Thank You to all the hole sponsors who paid had signs at each hole.

After everyone was fed and all the prizes handed out, I announced that we wanted the Foundation's share of the funds to go to Deryk so that they can buy him an ipod to talk for him by pressing a button.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Just One Reason Why

"Dear Abrielle Neff Foundation,

I received one of your stuffed animals when I hurt my eye and had to go to he ER. They gave me Goochy, the Jellyfish! He helped me be a brave boy at the hospital. I love Goochy so much! Thank you very much for Goochy, the Jellyfish!

Love,
Owen Wonderly
4 yrs old

P.S. My Mom and I are making a donation so more little boys and girls can get an animal at the ER and be brave like me!"

Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.