Goodbye JackJack

As much as I hate to, I have forced myself to be realistic this week.  I gathered all his cat supplies and put them into the storage room.  JackJack has been gone for a month now and the odds of him coming back home are pretty slim.  A declawed cat would have a hard time catching food, escaping from the coyotes, and surviving on his own for this long.  He escaped the night of Granny's funeral.  Elly went outside and didn't shut the door.  I did not get too worried and actually did not even attempt to go find him that night because any other time he got out he always came back home.  The next morning I saw JackJack but I was having the carpets cleaned and he refused to come in the house, hiding under the front porch instead.  I got frustrated with the rotten cat and thought he would be more than ready to come inside after the cleaners left.  I was wrong and could not find him.  We have searched (me daily) for our special kitty, but no luck.  I have been trying to keep my emotions in check, but you guys all know how important JackJack was to us.  Part of me feels like I have let Abby down but another part says that I'm sure she is excited to have her kitty to play with herself again, as I'm sure he is too.  He missed his little girl too.  We will miss you JackJack.