Abrielle Neff Foundation: December 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Week To Go

This will be Christmas number 4 without our Abby here. Year one we tried to avoid as much as we could. Year two we began to incorporate her into the season more with our "Abby Tree" at home and her own pink tree at the cemetery. Year three we were snowbound, making the day harder by not having family here and not being able to go the the cemetery. Year four is all but here and I am still not ready. Yes the trees are up - one upstairs, one downstairs, and our Abby Tree. The night before we had plans to pull out the trees, I could not sleep and became physically ill. I tried passing it off as a bug, but deep down I knew the cause was the anticipation of what was to come the next day. The trees went up and the girls had fun decorating them. We still cut down on the number of ornaments we put up, but maybe in a few more years we will have them all back out. Later I realized I did not take a single picture of the event which is really odd for me. Last week our Abby Tree went up and was decorated. It seemed like Mady took extra pride this year in helping me with her tree. She hung almost every ornament, strung the pink star garland, wrapped the base with the pink Princess tree skirt, and placed the star on top. Even though the trees are up and decorated, for some reason they don't seem to get plugged in. I guess the light is just not back in the holiday for us yet. Today we plan on getting Abby's pink tree decorated and to her at the cemetery. Then it will be shopping and wrapping left to make the day special for the girls.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Joy

Happiness. Joy. Elated. Just a few words to describe my mood this morning as Marc opened the door to the garage to start the vehicles. There was meowing as gray fur ran past into the house. JackJack came home! He is pretty thin abd lost his bell off his collar, but looks to be in good health otherwise. Happy tears! He won't leave my side and has been soaking up the love.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Sending Down Love

I was so proud of myself today as I pulled out two totes of Christmas decorations to begin placing around the house. The tote was filled with things to hang on the wall ~ pictures, plaques, snowmen, and the countdown calendar I was searching for. Of all theses things, the only one I had gotten out the last three Christmases was the countdown Santa. I was pulling down the antique ceiling tile in the foyer to replace it by a snowman picture when something fell to the floor. It fell face up and I stopped to pick up. It was a receipt from preschool fees for Abrielle. The receipt was dated 8/9/06. I have no idea how that piece of paper got behind the ceiling tile. I guess it was just our little angel sending down some love.

Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.