Abrielle Neff Foundation: December 2011

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Tearful Morning

I was woke up this morning by an automated phone call from the State. It was not how I would have chosen to start Christmas Eve. We have cookies to bake for Santa, food to prepare for tomorrow, a few more presents to wrap, and fun and games planned for the evening. I did not plan on starting the day with tears and fighting to not let the depression leave me curled up on the couch all day. It's not that my little girl would be far from my thoughts. In fact she would be in the front of my mind as we did all these activities. She would be missed during every second of the day the way it was. I did not need it thrown in my face that she is gone like it was at 8 this morning. Here is a copy of the email message I received that is essentially what the phone call was, but with a few more details.

12/24/2011

Re: Ryan Sundermann, Offender #: 01177786

In response to your desire to be notified, please be advised that the above named offender has been scheduled for release on a conditional release date of 1/7/2012, which is the mandatory release date required by law. In addition, the offender may earn good time credit, which would advance the release date. Upon release, please note that the remainder of the offender's sentence will be served under parole supervision.

No further notification will be sent to you unless the offender's release date is advanced or the offender is revoked and returned to a correctional facility.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Holidays

The shopping is done. The gifts are wrapped (all but a few). The trees have been up for a week. The pictures are taken, but cards will probably be Happy New Year. The end of the Holiday season is in sight. I have been rather proud of how I have handled things this year so far. I forced myself to take care of things on my own. I shopped without having to be pulled along by friends. I needed Abby's trees up as soon as the others were up.

For the pictures this year, some had Abby's black leotard in them and others had her Princess dress-up slippers.

http://byreba.com/p821216800/e1d28bd99

http://byreba.com/p821216800/e3ab5f2c5

http://byreba.com/p821216800/e3ae6c277

Saturday, December 10, 2011

He Still Knows Her

The girls were having pictures taken on Thursday so I had to find something of Abby's to put in the pictures too. As I went into her room, JackJack came running in with me. I have not let him in her room in about a year because the one and only time he was in there, he became sick and depressed for weeks afterwards. I tried to send him right back out, but he ran and hid under her bed. After I had found things for pictures, I still could not get him to come out and decided to just leave him for a little while. When I went back in, I found him up on her bed, nose pressed to her pillow, kneading it and purring loudly. Of course this brought me to tears. He only does the kneading when he curls up on my stomach, so I knew he still knew his girl. I scooped him up, carried him out, and closed the door. As I gave him loves, he pushed away wanting down. He went back to her door, stretched up, and started rattling the doorknob, yowling. He wanted back in. My heart just broke.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wishful Thinking

Each year I think the same thing ~

Maybe this will be the year the Holidays get easier.
Maybe hearing the Christmas music won't phase me this time.
Maybe all the lights will look cheery.
Maybe I will enjoy shopping.
Maybe pulling out the trees at home won't start the restless nights and the holiday blahs.
Maybe we will put all the ornaments on the trees and decorate the whole house again.
Maybe my heart will be filled with only joy and no sadness.
Maybe this year I will want to do things instead of feeling like they are forced.
Maybe I can love Christmas again finally the way I used to.
Maybe. Just maybe.
But, I guess I can hope for next year.

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Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.