Christmas Number 3

This was our third Christmas spent with Abby in Heaven. I don't know that I would say I "count" the holidays spent without our Abrielle here, but it's more that I just know. While it was better that year one, I don't know that I can say it was better than year two. In fact, it may have been the opposite. We were snowed in like most everyone else, so the distraction of playing cards and games with our local family was not there. Instead, we did our best to stay busy playing with the girls all day, but Mom and Dad are only fun for so long. That's when that spot of emptiness begins to spread, bringing tears. That's when the fact that one little girl is missing can no longer be "distracted" away. To make things worse, that snow also kept us from going to see our little girl and has in fact still kept us from visiting her resting place. (I understand that cemeteries are not a top priority for crews to clean and am patiently waiting for the drive to be cleaned out so we can scoop our way to Abby's grave the way we did after the last snow storm.)

Three stockings were hung from the hangers on Christmas Eve, waiting for Santa to fill two of them.

Santa did not forget about Abrielle though. He left stuffed animals and games under our Abby tree for the Foundation.

Some of the sights of Elly enjoying her new Christmas gifts were almost too much as she reminded us so much of her older sister this year. She too loves to dress up and received a trunk full of Barbie Princess dress up clothes. Elly immediately stripped down to put on the fancy clothes, just like Abby did the year she received hers.

I also want to apologize for my lack of posting these last few weeks, but to be honest, the holidays have been hard for me. Getting through the day is just about all I get accomplished some days. I have quite a bit to catch up on for Foundation posts and will do that soon. Thanks for your support and understanding.

Happy Holidays?

Christmas time makes the sadness and depression I battle so much worse. The "happy face" is harder to put on and the tears flow almost daily during this season. I switch to a "have to do this for my girls" mode and that's what keeps me going. I miss my Abby so much right now that I'm not sure I can describe the feelings inside. It's the little things that get me so often. Sometimes it's the twinkling Christmas lights on houses as we drive through town to show the girls their beauty. Sometimes it's the toys I see as I force myself to shop for gifts. Sometimes it's the music that is being played that stops me in my tracks. Sometimes it's someone saying, "You have a Merry Christmas with your family." There are days that it is so hard to pull myself from the "pity party" feelings of "this isn't fair!" and "why my little girl that was loved so much" to the "we were blessed with an angel for almost 4 years" where I try to keep myself. It gets harder as the reindeer on the advent calendar gets closer to that last star, meaning the big day is here. The "magic" of Christmas just isn't the same when we have to visit one daughter at the cemetery instead of watching her rip paper from packages.

I do want to say that there have been some wonderful moments that bring happy tears during this season too. It's the teachers that gather gifts for the Foundation instead of themselves. It's the friends that drag you out for lunch because you haven't felt like eating. It's the students that give their gifts from a Santa visit to the Foundation. It's the friends that come over to help wrap gifts and keep you company because they know you won't get it done otherwise. It's the friend that searched until they found solar Christmas lights for you to put on Abby's tree at the cemetery (and it looks beautiful! I cried when I saw them on in the dark.) It's the friend that comes over to give you the motivation to get those homemade gifts done. It's the friend that helps you find the gifts they knew you wanted for the girls but didn't want to battle the crowds for. It's the friends that listen and support you everyday in the little things that sometimes can seem so big. I love all of you and couldn't get through this "most wonderful time of the year" without all of you.

Preschool Visit

I took gifts from the Foundation to the preschoolers at Eugene Field Elementary School yesterday. They were able to choose from a teeny beenie stuffed animal along with either a small notebook or small box of crayons.

St Gregory's Help Out

Friday I went to St Gregory's School where the first and seventh graders decorated cards as a service project. They also brought in donations that I will share later.

Ornaments

Each one of these have a special meaning and that is why they are placed upon our Abby tree.

Abrielle loved Disney movies like most little kids, but had a few favorites. She was in love with the movie "Cars". In fact she would pop in the DVD just to play the song "Life is a Highway" so she could sing and dance. "The Little Mermaid" was another one that she loved to sing the songs to, especially "A Part of Your World". Barbies were another of her loves and you will find several of those throughout the tree.


"Finding Nemo" was the first and probably only movie Abby sat through entire thing. She loved that movie. Our Saturday mornings were filled with "her shows" which included "Stanley and his Great Big Book of Everything."

Rollie Pollie Ollie was on this list of "shows" watched every weekend too. Of course we have a JackJack ornament on the tree too. It's a grey kitty playing with a mouse.

Every time we hear the Chicken Dance song, we think of our little girl and her doing that cute little wing flap. The ornament plays the song and now her sisters are able to dance along. You can also see a couple of the memorial ornaments that hang on her tree in this picture.
Abby loved her Elmo, so of course I had to find one to hang on her tree.
And we couldn't have an Abby tree without a letter A! You can also see one of the ornaments that was given to her by Mema for her to have on her own tree someday. There are four of those on the tree ~ one for every Christmas she was here. Hanging above the A is the Little Einstein's Red Rocket. This was another of her "shows" and we have 2 of these on the tree and one plays the theme song from the show.
My Little Ponies was another thing Abby loved to play with her Sissy.

The engraved ornament was a gift for our Abby tree from a friend, the white ornament with her birth date was sent to us from CMH, and the little kitty gymnast on the balance beam was just perfect for her tree to show her love of gymnastics.

We love what each one of these ornaments (and the ones I didn't show) represent on Abby's tree. Each year as we open the boxes, we will be greeted by the memories that each one of these hold. There is one more very special ornament that is hung on every one of our trees along with Grandparents and other relatives.

This glass ornament was made by the Daniels family and given to us by Cole.

Abby's Pink Tree

We added some new ornaments to the pink tree we take to the cemetery this year. Of course they were more Disney Princess and Cars ornaments.

I was really hoping to find some solar powered Christmas tree lights to add to the tree, but all I could find were in huge lengths (35+ feet). Maybe next year I'll be able to find some so that Abby's tree will be lit up for her. We were wanting to have her tree to her by now, but with the snow, decided to wait a bit. It will be there by the weekend though for her.

Animal Donation

I was given these cuties from Hannah Miller ~