Abrielle Neff Foundation: July 2008

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Reflections

Tonight my sister Becci will graduate from Northwest. While this is a joyous occasion for her, she brought the facts to my attention. She graduated high school in 2004 when Abby was almost one, now four years later she is graduating without Abby and Elly is just over a year old. Abby LOVED her Aunt Becci! She came out to play with the girls all the time and would do special things with them.

Abby making Aunt Becci pretty with lip gloss!

For those of you that know Elly, the similarities between her and Abby are uncanny. Elly is a dare devil just like Abs. She has moments when we think we are looking at Abby with just a few differences (blue eyes and chubby cheeks like Mady had). While we smile at all these moments, you can't help but feel the tugs on your heart too. I have shared with just a few people some of our experiences since we lost Abby that prove Heaven has holes, last night was another one. I was getting Elly out of the tub and wrestling her jammies on her like usual (no time to be still) when she just stopped and looked up at the pictures on the wall. She said HI and smiled. I picked her up and said Who you saying hi to. I thought she was going to choose Mady and say Sissy. Instead she picked Abby's picture out from the wall of pictures. Just another one of those moments when we stop and think that there are things we don't fully understand...another small hole that Heaven cames through... sometimes we get more than just pennies.

Elly at 1

~Brenda

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Justice...?

Justice. This is a word Marc and I have tried to come to grips with for quite some time. It angers us to read how the laws work. It angers us when we read on the internet that a man gets 10 years for failing to return library books. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25600610/ Yes, I see he sold them, but come on, it's books! Today is another day in which justice comes into question for us. It is reported in the paper today that a young lady received 10 years for felony stealing and felony forgery. I am in no way trying to make this crime any less than what it is, but it's not a life. It goes to say later that another man was sentenced to 4 years for DWI. Is this sentence to say that our little girl's life is just worth 2 more years?! http://www.maryvilledailyforum.com/news/x1346894420/Wal-Mart-thief-gets-two-years We in NO way want to convey that we were not pleased by the job that David Baird and his office did because we know he did all he could to the extent of the law. He explained everything to us and made sure we knew what was going on every step of the way. We thank him for doing all that he did. It's the legal system, the laws, that anger us. It's the fact that the things that warrant stiffer penalties are the ones with loopholes that let the criminals escape barely touched. It's the fact that someone can be sent to prision longer for writing a bad check or growing mushrooms than for taking the life of an innocent little girl. It's the fact that the system that is supposed to protect us from criminals sets them free to graduate and earn a degree after their third offense. It's the fact that of the amount of time an offender is sentenced to, only a third to half of it is served behind bars. It's the fact that the time Sundermann will have to serve will be less time than the time we were allowed to have with our Abrielle. It's the fact that he will not even have to serve one year for every year of her life behind bars. Do you see justice? I think the value the justice system places on a life needs to be questioned. I leave you with this thought....What is justice?
~Brenda

Monday, July 28, 2008

Vacation Bible School

In working my way backwards... I was asked to be the guest in the Community Corner for Ravenwood Christian Chruch's Vacation Bible School on July 14th. Children from the age of 3 up to 6th grade came to the community corner every 20 minutes to listen to me speak about the Foundation. It was nice having the kids separated by ages that way I was able to talk about different aspects of the Foundation to different groups. I was able to discuss the Abby's Gift program to the older kids since organ donation is something they can grasp. The little ones consisted of 3,4, and 5 year olds and was a large group. Obviously with them it was all I could do to get through a few minutes of Abby's Hugs. I think every one of them had to tell me a story about getting hurt or getting a shot. I love preschoolers! They did ask a few tough questions that caught me off guard and brought tears to my eyes (Where's your Abby now? In Heaven is my reply, How did she get there? An angel took her is my reply, Did you bury her? Yes is my reply, How is she in Heaven then? Her body stayed here but her soul went to Heaven is my reply) but that's how they learn. Some of the kids brought in coloring books and crayons to give and we also received the cutest little homemade minke teddy bear.
~Brenda~

Friday, July 25, 2008

Website Link

The fishing boys at http://www.n2itfishing.com/ have placed a link to the Foundation website. They are a Mozingo fishing tournament circut in which many local people participate. Many of these guys had the pleasure of knowing our Abrielle. Thanks for getting the word out there about our Foundation and its programs guys! I had to include a picture of our little fisherman with the fish she caught all by herself on her Nemo fishing pole!

~Brenda~

Fireworks and a parade

As I am sure most all of you are aware, tomorrow night is our annual fireworks gathering. I thought it would be a good day to share a picture of our little pyro in action. Abrielle was a little timid at first and was always ready to run from the fireworks almost before they were lit. She and Mady always had so much fun with smoke balls and would get so mad with Winston when he would pick them up before they were done smoking.

In Foundation news, I was going to post some pictures from the parade last weekend, but don't seem to have them with me today. Crew members from the Foundation helped build a float that consisted of a little red barn, straw bales, and real corn stalks. Kelly and Susan Martin took the lead at the parade, carrying the Foundation banner (thank you Accent Printing), followed by the pickup pulling the float. We handed out over 700 popcicles, which did not last until the end of the route. Thankfully we had suckers too. We know for next year to plan on more kids than what we thought. I also need to thank Northwest Sign Company (Kevin and Jen Pitts) for the thank you signs. They looked great! I hope to add pictures soon, inluding one of the cow (Teresa) that walked with us.

~Brenda~

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Where to begin...

There has been so much going on with the Foundation during our first year that I am not sure where to begin. I guess it would be best to start recent and move backwards, so that's what I will try to do.

The most recent act of kindness has been from the Steiner family following the loss of their infant daughter Katherine. During their time of grief they chose to honor their little girl's memory by making memorial donations to the Foundation. http://www.maryvilledailyforum.com/obituaries/x390635394/Katherine-Elizabeth-Steiner
We have been truly touched by this compasionate act. Please keep their family in your prayers for months to come as we know all too well that the heart does not heal quickly.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Work in Progress

Our first blog post! I only thought I was computer savvy until I started working on getting this blog set up. I am still trying to get the logo to come across, working on the text, and trying to get this attached to the website. Hopefully we will be connected to the webpage soon and that way we can keep everyone up to date on the Foundation's happenings.

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone that has supported the Foundation during our first year.
We could not have done this without everyone's help.

Check back soon, as I will keep working on this blog and there are sure to be changes by tomorrow.

~Brenda~

Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.