Thursday, October 22, 2009

love you

I am really liking participating in the challenges at GoodGriefBlog as they are keeping me motivated to scrap in my Memory album, albeit that some of the challenges are hard to do. The current challenge is "Have A Conversation" and I found it to be a tough one for several reasons. I "talk" to my Abby every day, multiple times a day, so what would I say in a letter. Secondly, when I arrived at CMH that day, Abby was out of surgery and the news had already been given that she would not be able to survive her injuries. I was able to hold her hand and tell her how much I loved her, how much we would all miss her, but that I wanted her to go to Heaven where she could still run and play. I made her a promise that she would never be forgotten. Here is my layout for the challenge~

The picture is from October 2006 when we were carving pumpkins. I love this one of her and JackJack. The heart I masked and sprayed with a glimmer mist to try to give it a bleeding heart effect. My letter to Abby is in the envelope sticking out from behind her picture. Here is what it says~

To My Princess
Can you see how much Mommy loves you and misses you every day as you look down from Heaven? I sure hope you can because there is no way for me to put it into words for you to understand other than to say that I have a great big owie that no Band-Aid can fix. Mommy’s doing the best she can right now and I am not letting anyone forget you. I hope you can see the smiles on other kids’ faces because of you.
I know I tell you all the time, but I have to tell you again that I am sorry that you had to go to Heaven instead of me. I tried my best to keep us all here. I’m sorry.
How I wish I could have held you one last time that day and rocked you in my arms. How I wish for one more hug and one more kiss. How I wish for one more giggle and one more “I love you Mommy”. I know that Mommy tells you every day, but I love you so much. There will always be that spot in my heart just for you.
Until I get to see you again, I will keep telling you every day ~ LOVE YOU!


  1. Wow - your journaling made me tear up. I love the masked heart, and the picture of your sweet Abby is precious.

  2. That was beautiful Brenda. My heart aches for you~I am so sorry.

    She knows how much you love her that I am sure.

    I will keep on praying for you
    hugs, Darla

  3. Brenda, I should remember to keep the kleenex nearby when I read your journaling. Losing a child...I can't even imagine...and when I do, it just breaks my heart. Many, many hugs to you!! This is beautiful.