Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Different Countdown

I have posted two comments on last Friday's post (the 12th) for all to read. These comments state "Countdown until Ryan Sundermann is released from prison.......3 years! Whoohoo!" I am sure his family will be glad to have him released from behind prison bars so that they may once again be a family and do family things. I am sure they wish they had him there for holidays, special occasions, and just in normal everyday life. We, the victims of his crime, would love to have our Abby back home with us too. We wish we could have some sort of "countdown" until we could hug our little girl again. We are not as lucky as Ryan Sundermann's family. Our time without our Abrielle is determined by God and not by the justice system. When we talk to our daughter, we cannot hear her voice. We cannot hear her laugh, cry, or even breathe. When I want to to hold my little girl, I cannot. The only way I can touch her hand is by the mold CMH made us. I can only run my fingers through her hair by the locks that were saved for us before the funeral. When we go to visit our daughter, we can not physically see her. Instead we see the impression in the grass from where she lies beneath. The only way I can see her beautiful smiling face is by looking at pictures. In 3 years we will still be missing our Abrielle in Heaven, that will not have changed. We will miss our little girl until we are able to see her again.

I would also like to make it known that we want this blog to focus on the Foundation ~ the good things that it is doing, the kids it is helping, the needs it is fulfilling, and the lives being touched. We want this blog to honor our daughter's spirit and memory. We want good to come from this tragedy that has happened to our family. We will sometimes share heartache and tears on this blog with you in the hopes that maybe it will help others understand the pain of losing a child and in the hopes it helps ease our own suffering. We do not (and have never wanted) this blog to focus on Ryan Sundermann. So, to those who seem to think otherwise, please stop causing the gash in my heart to bleed even more than it normally does. Instead, join us in making good come from this.

14 comments:

  1. Brenda,
    I don't know you well, but I hear about you so much through my friends Jenni H. and Shannon H. I'm so, so very sorry that someone would do that to you. Know that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of us who are so thrilled that you have turned your grief into the wonderful actions of the Foundation. Keep doing your amazing work.

    Jill Baker

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  2. I cannot believe anyone who has a heart would be able to write these comments down on paper but especially on this blog. Shame on whomever did this and I hope you get some help for your lack of feelings for this family that has already suffered so much and for your lack of character.

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  3. I am SO SO sorry anyone would try to hurt you in anyway,, my god you have been through enough~!!!

    Saying prayers for you and your family and sending big hugs, thank you for all you are doing with this wonderful foundation, and that is the focus, not him~!!!!Love, your friend, Darla Rauch

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  4. It is only because of some of the comments made by Mrs. Neff that we even bring Ryan's name into this blog.She constantly makes hints of Ryan in her blogs. So we think it's only fair to respond those remarks she makes about our friend and that people should know that he is not the person she makes him out to be. Friends of the Sundermanns

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  5. How dare you celebrate his release. This is a cruel way for you to hurt this family who has already suffered enough. The Neff family has every right to be angered at what has happened to their family.
    I don't know any of you but I cannot believe that any human would try and attack the Neff family. If you don't like what she blogs, then stay off her blog..simple as that.

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  6. I'm so sorry that the "friends" of the Sundermanns feel his "name is hinted at" on this blog, but really wasn't his actions (drinking while driving in which he was prosecuted for MULTIPLE times before March 29,2007 and causing the accident that day) the whole reason this blog and Foundation are even in exsistence? If you don't like it...tough!!! I am amazed that the Neffs have turned their grief into a wonderful gift to the area's children. Can the Sundermanns tell me how Ryan has contributed to mankind??? Seriously, you people need a life if you are focusing on this. Get Real!!!

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  7. It is very sad to me that the Sundermann family and friends of the Sundermann family have still yet to open their eyes to the damage and heartache Ryan Sundermann has caused. As if losing your daughter wasn't painful and hard enough. But, they continue to throw it in your face. That is just horrible. I do not feel that your blog harbors any untruths about Ryan Sundermann and if his family/friends do not like what you write then they need to not read it. I pray that you find peace in such hurtful words and that Ryan Sundermann's family can accept his wrong doings. They are only enabling him which will not help him when he eventually does get released. God bless you and your family.

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  8. Hey Friends of the Sundermanns, you need to do your homework. The last post prior to today with Ryan Sundermann's name in it was January 8, 2009. In fact, Brenda has only referred to him 20 times since late August 2008. How constantly hinting is that again? Do you truly believe this family wants to remember him? No!!! All of you should rethink your beliefs on fairness and judgement, the real constant reminder is who Marc, Brenda, Mady & Elly are living without everyday for the rest of their lives.

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  9. One quick question, how does posting two comments such as "Countdown until Ryan Sundermann is released from prison.......3 years! Whoohoo!" by the Sundermann family/friends tell his side of the story? It seems to me, you are just looking to hurt the Neff family and friends. Find somewhere else to post your garbage.

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  10. If this blog is supposed to just inform people about the foundation, then so be it. Mrs. Neff should not keep informing everyone about her bad days and victim scrapbook. She should leave it to when they get donations, help people, bagging, etc.... I think that Mrs. Neff set herself up for this kind of hurt. Yes, the foundation does do many wonderful things and only those things should be put on this blog.

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  11. So who are you to decide what she should post? There is only one fact you seem to keep forgetting...it is HER blog to post what she wants. She has even been open-minded enough to post what you have written when she could of simply deleted it. As others have written, don't get on her blog if you don't like it. What are you trying to gain by commenting your mean-spirited thoughts? And just to let you know, there are lots of us who ask her to post the scrapbooking pictures and her feelings on bad days.

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  12. This is ridiculous how this is going back and forth!!! I believe this blog helps my sister express her feeling along with inform others of this foundation. If anyone has a problem with it, go find something better to do! Lots of people have blogs and its their blog no one tells them what they can and can not post. So if you have a problem with it stay out of our lives that is way we would of liked it on March 29th so we wouldnt even be having to deal with this! I know he is your friend and you support him but dont rub things in our face like why dont you turn the tables for once and put yourself in our shoes and see how that would make you feel!Dont keep fighting his innocense there is a reason he is the one in prison! I feel immature for even writing this comment i feel like it is childish this is even going on this back and forth defending! PLEASE stop whoever you are posting this rubbish! I am not afraid to post my name- Becci

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  13. This blog is also an escape for Brenda to release her feelings of grief. Everyone has different ways of expressing thier grief and if this blog helps Brenda. If you don't like what she has posted then don't read it. My son was good friends with Abby and he was only 4 when she died. I like to read the pages about Abby's life so that we can remember her. He is also still grieving and looking at the pictures of how he remembers her helps him through his grieving process. I agree with Becci on stoppig the posting of the rubbish. Let the Neff family grieve. -The Daniels Family

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  14. you so believe in him that you will put your name on it~ Anonymous you~~ this is so crazy~ and it makes me so mad~ dont read her blog and you will not know what she is writing~ leave the Neff Family alone~! period, the end!! Darla Rauch

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