Abrielle Neff Foundation: The Year in Review

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Year in Review

This may be cliche to do, but I am going to overview what happened during the past year with the Foundation and our lives....

The Foundation seemed to really take off this year. Through the support and donations, Abby's Hugs was able to expand to include the hospitals in Fairfax and Albany, it was able to give books and coloring books to the Nodaway County Health Office, and the program allowed me into schools to speak about compassion. Abby's Gift was begun to help educate on organ donation and we hope it has helped people express their wishes to their loved ones. Abby's Gardens program was created and has taken the beginning steps to help EFE in their outdoor classroom. Hopefully other schools will soon be interested in help for theirs also. June brought the First Annual Celebration of Children which, despite the weather, was a wonderful, enjoyable family day and a successful fundraiser for the Foundation. The Foundation celebrated its anniversary in August, marking one year since the first donation to St Francis ER. And, of course, this blog was started to help keep everyone up to speed with what is going on.

We rang in 2008 with two girls instead of 3 like we had planned for our lives and faced many battles as we struggled through the year. The year was filled with legal battles. We spent numerous hours in the courtroom and with the attorneys as we planned for a trial in April. Then the letter came on April 1st telling us the trial had been canceled. I still have the email I sent to everyone....
The end is in sight! Trial has been cancelled...On April 28th Ryan Sundermann will change his plea to guilty to the higher manslaughter charges that carry 7 years max. On May 23rd he will be sentenced. We will enter a joint recommendation of 6 years, but the sentence will be totally up to the judge. This is the day we need everyone there. On this day we will be able to read a statement to the court. He will be sentenced that day and taken away that day. That much of all of this will be over. I can't even begin to describe the emotions today. The tears just won't stop. Mostly they are tears of happiness and relief that this stage is all but over. Our Abby will finally receive some justice and we can move on to the next steps that need to be taken. It just seems unreal and hard to say....It's over.
The year continued as Ryan Sundermann was sentenced on June 25th to 6 years. I was an emotional wreck that day as I had to read our statement to the court before sentencing. Our hearts then ached with sadness as we were informed Ryan Sundermann would be up for parole consideration in December, and we had to travel to the prison to prevent this. We, along with family and friends, read statements tearfully asking he not be released. Our Christmas gift came early as we were informed parole was denied, bringing us some relief that this battle should be over.
Everyday life was different without Abby there. We were forced to "celebrate" her birthday without her in June and marked her "Heavenly Birthday" in March. We let Mady have the pool party we had planned for a combined birthday party the year before as we tried to not deny her the enjoyment because of our pain. Our Elly turned one and learned to say Abby's name. Every holiday and event was marked with tears and pain as not a day went by without us missing our Princess. We hope that 2008 brought "closure" to some issues and that the rest will be resolved in 2009 (another trial in September).
We have only been able to make it through because of the support of family and friends. Seriously, without all of you I would still be curled up in my bed, tears flowing, having a pity party. Not saying that doesn't happen ever, but I don't think I would be able to leave and know I would not have been able to start the Foundation and grow it into what it has become so far. So, THANK YOU to everyone out there that has helped us in some way, no matter how small you may think it was.
2009~ We have some more plans for the growth and expansion of the Foundation. There are more needs that need filled and more kids that need "hugs". We plan to begin the processes to change the legal things that we have discovered need changed. We plan to start local and work up (or out) on some things. We will keep you informed as we make our progress to try and correct these issues.

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Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.