Abrielle Neff Foundation: A Message to My Abby

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Message to My Abby

My heart has been growing heavier as that fateful day draws closer, so today I am going to speak to my Abby...

It has been 2 years since your brown eyes danced with life, but there are some things I want you to know~
You will always be my middle child, the filling in our family sandwich
You will always be Mady's little sister, her playmate and her shadow
You will always be Elly's big sister, even though you never got to hold her
You will always be my bravest, strongest, most adventurous girl
You will always be my Mommy's Girl
You will always be a Granddaughter, a Niece, a Cousin, and a Friend
You will always live so strong in our hearts that it will seem like it was just yesterday that you left
You will always hold a special place in my soul that can never be filled
You will always be the one to help me keep my faith, because without it, I won't see you again
You will always bring tears to my eyes at the very thought of you. I will not let those tears dry because it is in that pain and grief that you live the strongest
You will always be our Abrielle, no matter what. Just because time passes, nothing can take that away. You are not gone, of that I am sure. You have just gotten a head start to that beautiful gathering place we will all join you at.
I love you Abbers and miss you every day~
Hugs and Kisses ~
Mommy

14 comments:

AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 8:38 AM
As I sit here with tears rolling down my face while reading your beautiful words, I wanted you to know that we are thinking of you and know this weekend will be especially hard for your family.
Love,
Shannon
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 9:34 AM
Couldnt of been said better.
-Becci
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 11:23 AM
I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and your family this weekend. I must also agree with Shannon.
-Love The Daniels
PS. Abby Cole sends his love:)
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Lots of prayers for all of you...
Love,
Amber & Jesse
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MardiMarch 27, 2009 at 3:41 PM
What a special posting! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 6:04 PM
Brenda,

You are all in my thoughts and prayers as I sit here typing this, can't see too well as tears are running down my cheeks.

Belinda called me last night. Said, "Mom let's all wear pink to church in memory of Abrielle. So that is what we are going to do.

Love you all, Aunt Laura
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 7:21 PM
If nobody minds, I would be honored to wear my pink shirt to church also. Amber
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2009 at 11:23 PM
I will continue to keep you all in my prayers~~ that was beautiful, Brenda~
big hugs, Darla Rauch
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AnonymousMarch 28, 2009 at 11:08 AM
Just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you all this weekend. Your message to Abby is really beautiful, and Lauren and I will be wearing pink on Sunday too.

Katrina
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AnonymousMarch 29, 2009 at 4:40 PM
Brenda, Marc, and Madison,
your message to Abby is beautiful. I've been praying for your family, knowing this weekend and today will be especially hard for all of you. None of us can take away the pain, but you have a huge support system in all of your family and friends. we all love you and will do anything we can to help ease your pain. Teresa McKee
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AnonymousMarch 29, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Woke up with you in my thoughts this morning!! I love you!!! Meme
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Jenni HalleyMarch 29, 2009 at 7:01 PM
I am sending so many prayers your way. I am trying to figure out what to pray for. Since I know to some extent your deep loss, I simply have prayed for you to have peace.
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MicciaMarch 29, 2009 at 8:32 PM
May God give you strength and peace.
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AnonymousMarch 29, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Marc, Brenda, and Family,
Our family does not know you personally, but we continue to be in awe of your willingness to be strong in the face of such devastation. We cannot, for one moment, imagine being in your shoes. However, we wanted you to know what a difference your foundation made, recently, in our lives. Our daughter has now had to visit the ER for two different mishaps. Hands down, her visits were markedly calmer and significantly less scary when she received her stuffed animals from your foundation. It was amazing to watch her pulse and blood pressure drop on the monitors when the animals were handed to her. She smiled, even when they were starting to stich her lip or decide whether or not she needed a CT for a bonk on her head. Your courage IS making a difference in the lives of little people in our community. I pray for you to find peace in the face of such enormous loss. May the smiles of so many fill your heart and help you heal.
With gratitude and deep respect,
Avery (the recipient), Jill, and Matt Baker
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Our Story...

Abrielle came into this world in a hurry to get started, which gave us our first glimpse at her personality. Not waiting on Dr Jane to put on gloves, only a towel to catch her with, she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces. From the beginning Abby had reflux, but there seemed to more than just that as she failed to gain weight. At four months we were sent to draw all kinds of labs, hoping for a solution, but all was normal. By six months of age, the vomiting became worse, almost nightly. We were keeping records of every calorie she ate, every dirty diaper, and every time she vomited. By this time Abby was refusing to eat supper most nights and would throw up her undigested lunch after bathtime at 8:00. Her food was just sitting in her tummy all day. Dr Watson sent us to Omaha Childrens Hospital to Dr Zapata a pediatric gastroenterologist to help diagnois the problem. There, over the next year and a half of her life, Abby underwent testing, treatments, and outpatient procedures. During every procedure she was given a stuffed animal to hold for comfort, even though she had Blankie with her.
To make a long story short, after the accident we discovered St Francis Hospital did not have a program like this for kids and Abby's Hugs was born.

That Tragic Day...

Thursday, March 29, 2007, began like any other school day in our household with the only exception being that it was Abby's sharing day at preschool. We had a rule that if the sharing item was not picked out the night before (which it usually wasn't), Abby had to be ready for school before she could find something to take. This morning was just like most ... nothing was picked out the night before. She hurried faster than usual that way she would have time to find something. After brushing her teeth, she ran to her room to find some clothes. I always tried to give Abby choices, but she was down to her last clean pair of capris. I gave her the option of wearing those, a pair of Gymboree Fruit Punch capris with a bright yellow shirt or jeans and a purple kitty shirt. She decided on the capri outfit which she had actually rejected every other day that week. After getting dressed, she went into Sissy's room and was playing with her LeapPad when I found her. I asked her how she wanted her hair fixed and she said "little pony". (Not that she was going to leave it in anyway) I helped her onto the sink and she dug through her basket of hair things until she found a yellow one. We went into the living room so I could sit down to brush her hair. Since sitting on my lap was now impossible, Abby stood in front of me as I pulled her hair up with the little yellow hair tie. She ran to her room and began looking for something to bring for sharing. She came out with her Little People's Noah's Ark set stuffed full of extra toys. Being a mean Mommy, I said, You can only bring one toy. Aww, was the response as she took the ark back to her room to look for something else. I went on about my routine of making my lunch and everything else to be ready to leave for work. Mady and I headed out to the Expedition and Abby was not following behind. I went back inside to find her and Marc on their way from her room with her big "bobbycat" (bobcat skidloader) for sharing. They had been looking for the scoop that attaches to the front but ran out of time. They decided that just the bobbycat would work. Marc helped buckle Abby in her car seat. Because she was so small we still used the 5-point harness and not just the seatbelt so she required some help. As we left the house, Marc pulled out ahead of the girls and I onto the gravel road. Just around the first set of curves past our house, I slowed down so we could watch the turkeys fly across the road. I am not sure if Abby saw them or not, but she said she did. We continued on, oblivious to our fate that lie ahead.

last added to 10/29 ...this I will add to as I am able ...thanks for understanding.

The Sentence

On June 25, 2008, Ryan C Sundermann was sentenced to 6 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections on charges of involuntary manslaughter. Sundermann wrecklessly caused the death of Abrielle Neff in a motor vehicle collision on March 29, 2007. Sundermann was charged with failing to maintain proper control of his vehicle, failure to drive on the right half of the roadway and operated a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol.
Sundermann was previously convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and Failure to Drive on the Right Half of the Roadway on April 25, 2006 and sentenced to 2 years probation, 12 days in jail, and a $300 fine. On December 19, 2006, Sundermann was again convicted of Excessive Blood Alcohol Content-Prior Offender which he received a Suspended Execution of Sentence of 180 days, was continued on 2 years probation and received a fine.