Becci came back to visit this weekend and we ended up going shopping in KC with Mady. She was in desperate need of jeans since it seems like she won't quit growing. I had been putting off going because now I almost hate shopping. I will not go on my own at all now since the second accident. I just can't believe the change in me sometimes. I had such a difficult time last year and it's still not any better. I always loved to go shopping. I mean, come on, what woman doesn't, and especially when she has little girls to buy for. Shopping is time alone, girl time, or just fun time with the kids, but not now. I have not found a store in which I can go from Mady's size to Elly's without seeing Abby's. I see things that I know she would just love or something that would be so cute on her or something that reminds me of a shirt she already has. I try to not look. I try to avert my eyes to the next section, but it just doesn't work. I have gotten good at holding the emotions in when I'm in the store, but they build up. Instead I just end up wearing down faster and getting grouchy which is no one's fault that is with me. (We all know whose fault it is!) Basically shopping for clothes for the girls makes me face the reality that I am missing one and just seems to rob the day of the fun.
Mom also came out this weekend and helped me dig out warmer clothes for Elly. I was very proud of myself. I didn't do too bad sorting through the things that Abby wore... no tears at the time (those came later), just some sadness.